Should I Stay or Should I Go?

October 31, 2011
Relationships usually reach the point where one partner must decide whether to leave or keep trying to make it work. This decision becomes more difficult as women (the book's target audience) negotiate relationships with partners who are abusive, mentally ill, addicted to drugs or alcohol, or seriously immature. This comprehensive book helps women learn how to establish boundaries, recognize the signs of these behaviors, decide how much they want to support their partners through their personal growth and finally, if they decide to leave, how to do so safely and effectively. Bancroft (Why Does He Do That?) and women's advocate Patrissi provide checklists that highlight behavioral differences between unhealthy relationships and those with normal communication and negotiation patterns. Though they briefly touch on the possibility that the woman is the problematic half, the book focuses on men with demonstrable issues. Women needing to check in objectively on their relationship's health will find this book quite useful, but those looking to improve an otherwise decent relationship will find scant details.

November 15, 2011

Writing with the abused woman in mind, domestic violence specialists Bancroft (Why Does He Do That?) and Patrissi (founder, Vermont Victim Assistance Acad.) have written a comprehensive book that readers in troubled relationships can use to assess whether to stay or leave and steps for getting out. The authors help readers analyze the root issues--immaturity, addiction, mental health--and determine the gravity of the problem. They then guide them through setting rules for changing a salvageable relationship and even prepare them for what to expect when the relationship improves. The last section of the book details how to begin a new period of freedom, choose a new partner, and create a new relationship. Excellent guidance from respectable sources.

Copyright 2011 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.